Resources / Books


BOOK:The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind – and Keep – Love
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind – and Keep – Love

A great resource for understanding your attachment style and dating strategies for those seeking a long-term-relationship.  What is great about this book is it provides both an understanding of why we’re drawn to the type of people we are, and attachment-style specific strategies for seeking love and avoiding getting into painful relationships.


PDF HANDOUT:  Positive Behavior Checklist by Dr. David Bricker.  Dr. Bricker works from a CBT and Dr. Gottman perspective.  While I generally do not use those methodologies in working with couples, this checklist provides a pretty thorough list of things that if you did would definitely improve your relationship.  I highly recommend it for couples.

BOOK:  Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson:  Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love.  I highly recommend this book to couples because it can be helpful in providing a language concerning what happens with couples who love each other but drive each other crazy.  She is the founder of EFT (Emotion Focused Therapy), the modality that I am highly influenced by for my work with couples.

FORGIVENESS:  HANDOUT:  Forgiveness Conversation PDF.  This 4 page handout provides the correct order to have a forgiveness conversation that is more likely to land.  It normalizes how we get caught into crappy forgiveness conversations, and provides practical guidance on what to do.

EMOTIONAL REPAIR:  Emotional Repair  This seven page document provides a model of emotional repair as well as an example of a couple going through the process.  The Forgiveness Conversation EFT based handout above and this one are both great models for trying to make real repairs.

THE RELATIONSHIP GRID:  The relationship Grid This grid helps a therapist conceptualize several common character styles with ideas about how they experience their internal worlds differently and ideas about appropriate psychological interventions based on the client’s character style.

FEELING Wheel:  The below picture, open it up and print it out.  It can be a helpful way to help identify feelings.

Feeling Wheel

IDENTIFY YOUR FEELINGS:  This 1 page document has a list of lots of feelings for people who find it challenging to name their feelings, this handout can be very helpful. Feeling Vocabulary

FOR THERAPISTS WHO WANT TO TEACH COUPLES HOW TO REDUCE THEIR REACTIVITY:  The Couples Flutter Technique for reducing activation levels.  This 5 page paper describes how to do The Couples Flutter Technique (a practice that works really well that I “created”).  It was inspired by the Flash Technique (by Phil Manfield), a new upcoming modality that reduces trauma triggers for individuals.  The last page is a 1 page summary of how to do it that could be helpful for clients to use who have experienced it all ready.  If you haven’t experienced it already, you should definitely read the whole article.


The website: seems to provide some helpful information on addiction recovery.

Schedule an Online Appointment <<– Online,

or call 510-686-3390, or email todd at